October 2009
September 2009
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Emotional rollercoaster
During the last 24 hours my pregnancy has taken me on an emotional rollercoaster.
Exhibit 1
John was purposefully trying to annoy me last night by jiggling his leg against the coffee table which was making the entire couch move. It was really annoying. He wouldn’t stop. I snapped, jumped off the couch, yelled at him, stormed off to the bedroom and pouted for the next hour. How...
Pick a city
John has 30,000 American Airlines points expiring today which means we need to get flights booked…TODAY! But we don’t know where to go.
We were contacted about doing a home exchange in Tahoe for Thanksgiving and we were also tossing up Vegas. What’s Tahoe like in November? I can’t ski anyway (boo hiss) so it doesn’t matter that there won’t be any snow.
...
That would be a no, then
Me: What do you want to do now? Watch the Rachel Zoe Project?
John: Or we could try catching knives in our mouths.
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Losing my mind
Grabbed a dog biscuit just now for Winston. Then the phone rang and two emails came through at the same time. I absent mindedly starting nibbling on the biscuit as I dealt with the call and emails. The dog biscuit.
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Deadlines!
My baby is due on April 1. My last deadline at work before maternity leave is March 31. Hmmm, it could get interesting!
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Ever wondered why pregnancy tests come in boxes of...
I don’t have an outfit post for you today so instead I will share a story with you.
When I realized I might be pregnant, I walked down to Duane Reade to buy a home pregnancy test. I stood in the aisle assessing the various brands. I really just wanted to buy one single test but they all came in boxes of three. Three? Really? I only need to test myself once. Anyway, off I went back...
My one and only off-limits blog topic
Far too many of you detective readers out there have figured out what it is I do for a living! So I’ve just spent the last 10 minutes doing some anonymizing of my blog. It’s the one and only topic that is completely off limits on here. Don’t get me wrong - if you email and ask me specific questions about my career, I will almost always answer them. But I don’t think it...
Things I miss
Being able to use the word ‘fortnight’ without people staring blankly at me.
It took me at least a month (that would be two fortnights) to realize that the vast majority of people in the U.S. don’t know what this word means. Not only that, they had never heard of this word. My colleagues thought I was speaking Shakespeare. I still didn’t really believe that a common...
Husband Jeans
I was half-heartedly flipping through a pregnancy magazine until I reached the style section. I was pleasantly surprised as I ooohed and aaahed over the skinny jeans and the tight sweater dresses. Then I spotted a pair of maternity boyfriend jeans. I looked at the fineprint to see how much they are and found that they were called ‘husband jeans’. Heaven forbid, you get pregnant...
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I'll never get used to this.
So check out Sarah's 'incident' on the subway last night. We were just talking about this last weekend at brunch and I can assure that when I'm heavily pregnant I will be very vocal about asking people to get up for me. And then I will probably make a snide remark about having to actually ask for a seat. This isn't about about anti-feminist. At the end of the day there are differences between men and women. One of those differences is that women are the ones who get heavy with child. So get the F up for us on the subway!
[Scene - F train stops at Broadway/Lafayette, very pregnant woman gets on, all seats in the area are filled by men. Train stops at West 4th, by this point no man has gotten off or attempted to give her a seat. She's clutching the pole and her belly. Note: I was standing up during this, obviously. If I was seated this would've never happened as I would've stood up IMMEDIATELY]
Me: (looking slightly peeved at closest 3 men) Do you think any of you might be willing to get up and give her a seat?
Man #1: What? Why?
Me: Isn't it obvious.
Man #2: If she wanted a seat she could ask.
Me: I'm sorry I don't think she should have to.
Man #1: This isn't the 'olden days.'
Me: Oh so, because women can now vote you shouldn't relinquish your seat to a pregnant woman? (Pregnant woman is half cheering me on/ half horrified. A man finally gets up - Man #3 - she thanks him and sits down)
Man #2: Women don't want men to hold doors or give them their seats. It's anti that feminism garbage.
Me: I don't know who told you that but for future reference if a visibly pregnant woman gets on a train and it's muggy and she looks exhausted or even if she doesn't - OFFER HER A SEAT. It's beyond the right thing to do.
Man #1: Why do you care? Are you pregnant? You don't look it.
Me: No, but my good friend Georgina is and I swear to God if this ever happened to her and I was there this convo would have escalated awhile ago.
Man #2: (Mutters something about liberal women.) I turn back on my ipod.
[What is wrong with people??? Why isn't it instinctual to give up your your seats to elderly people, injured people, and/or pregnant women? Am I missing something?]
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I am an annoying smug pregnant bitch
BEFORE BEING PREGNANT
Non-pregnant Me: How far along are you?
Pregnant woman: 15 weeks.
Non-pregnant me: (Grits teeth and calculates in head) Oh, so like almost 4 months.
Pregnant woman: Yes
Non-pregnant me: (Why didn’t you just say that in the first place, you annoying smug pregnant bitch).
NOW THAT I’M PREGNANT
Non-pregnant friend: How far along are you?
Pregnant me: 12...
“Optimist: someone who isn’t sure whether life is a tragedy or a comedy but is...”
– Robert Brault (via julie911)
“HEY!!!! What did I say about high heels??”
– My secretary is on my case again today.
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